Monday, March 29, 2010

If I Had a Stammer

IF I HAD A HAMMER (The Hammer Song)
words and music by Lee Hays and Pete Seeger

If I Had a Stammer
A Paddy Whack©

[Ever notice how Barry Stammers without his teleprompter? Here’s the latest]:

If I had a Stammer
I’d stammer in the Morning
I’d stammer in the Evening
All over this land
I’d stammer out Health Care
I’d stammer Global Warming
I’d stammer out Hope and Change, my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

If I had a bong
I’d smoke it in the morning
I’d smoke it in the evening
While I hatched my plans
I’d huff and puff for ego
I’d huff and puff for power
I’d huff and puff that I’m the One, the hope and change you’re needin’
All over this land

If I had a Plan
I’d plan it like Alinsky
I’d plan with Cloward-Piven
All over this land
I’d plan to end freedom
I’d plan to tax your earnings
I’d plan to bring a Marxist State to you and all your children
All over this land

Now I’ve got a stammer,
And I’ve got a bong,
And I’ve got a plan to bring
All over this land.
It’s the stammer of Incompetence
It’s the bong of Arrogance
It’s the plan to bring a Marxist State to you and all your children
All over this land

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Ravin'

TheRaven by Edgar Allan Poe

The Ravin’ by Mrs. Paddy

Once upon a Congress clearly, while we marched on weak and weary
Over many a quaint and curious Patriot-begotten shore,
While we chanted, singing, clapping, suddenly there came a tapping
As of someone fiercely rapping, rapping on their chamber door.
‘Tis some Patriot,’ they muttered, ‘tapping at my chamber door-
Only fools, and nothing more.’

Ah, distinctly I remember it was from that bleak November,
And each Democratic Member wrought their will upon the poor.
Painfully I glimpsed the morrow; - vainly we had sought to borrow
From our Land surcease of sorrow – Standing on the Nation’s floor.
From the base and ignorant maiden, who is Nancy, Barry’s whore.
Shameless there for evermore.

And Obama, sought to woo us, sought his way and looked right through us
Pained us – Changed us with fantastic errors never seen before;
So that now, to keep repeating, Patriots began entreating
Speaking loud and oft repeating, beating on the Chamber doors-
Like inquisitors repeating, ‘Read the Constitution, or-
You’ll be gone,’ and nothing more.

Presently our ire grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
‘Sir’ said I, ‘or Madam, truly your attention I implore;’
But the fact is we were napping, and so gently laid your trapping
And so boldly you were scrapping, scrapping all we loved before,
That I scarce believed you’d do it – Shred the Constitution more!
But you have, and nothing more.

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, watching die the dreams our children dream no more.
And the silence was unbroken, and the sleeping stayed un-woken,
And the only words there spoken were behind the chamber doors!
Reid and Nancy and Obama murmured back ‘Free? Nevermore’
Only this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, Patriot soul within me burning,
From a riled and angry nation, soon I heard a loud commotion,
‘Surely,’ said I, ‘Surely hear us, you should know you need to fear us;
Tyranny is not a notion, geared to fill us with devotion-
If you’ll stop and think a moment! Hear our pleas are not emotion-
‘Tis our Right, and nothing more!

Listen now, no need to stutter, We’re not riff-raff from the gutter
We are here a last assembly to preserve our nation’s soul
We don’t owe you our attention; you must fail in your intention
To destroy our hallowed nation, Bankruptcy is your clear goal.
We will fight you, we’ll remove you, think you clear of anger’s toll?
You’ll be gone, and something more!

When our Liberty is reeling, and sick hubris you are feeling
By the graves of founding Fathers’ and the Constitution swore
‘Though our battle is but started, soon from your seat you’ll be parted’
Ghastly law to serfdom send us, but we’ll yield you nothing more.
Tell me how you’ll face your nation, all your souls sold like a whore?
List’ the People: “Nevermore!”

I marveled at the stinking process and discourse you sought to boss us
Listened not unto your people – little relevance we bore;
Made no difference that we phoned! We faxed and marched! Will you atone?
We the People have lost patience with the Congress on the Floor
House and Senate both imperial; both corrupt unto the core
Liberty cries; “Nevermore.”

But the Congress and Obama, press upon us one more drama
As if one-sixth of our nation isn’t big enough to score
Sitting with his fingers steepled, ramming healthcare on the people
Setting up a monster program; geared to gut us to the core
A hundred and ten new bureaus forming, taxing all we have and more
Only Tax: and Nothing more.

But Obama sits there smiling, Democrats their vote beguiling
Another loss of freedom stripping, stripping from the nation’s core
And he spits upon our freedom, thinks no bill of rights we’re needin’
And the Patriots see their future, filled with promise nevermore
See the empty days before us, As we sing in dreadful chorus
USA is Nevermore.

Startled at the stillness broken by the word so aptly spoken,
‘Doubtless,’ says he, ‘what you utter is just hype and nothing more’
‘I will be your lord and master. It is not a great disaster
I just hope to change you faster! Faster than the Bush of yore.’
And with melancholy faces, Change is here. And hope? No more.
Liberty is Nevermore.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Deem a Little Scheme this Week

So, the latest manoever is to 'deem' the bill passed with amendments that nobody has seen (Nan says we have to pass it first; then we can see what's in it!) thereby skipping that pesky routine of actually voting! Of course, a vote would put everyone on the record for this POS legislation that will destroy our liberty and hand 1/6th of our economy to the government. Not to mention, of course, the absolute control they will have over every aspect of your life and health.

This is one of those times I wish I could sound like Obama when I sing. Please imagine his voice with this one.

From Mama Cass' hit "Dream a Little Dream of Me"

Deem a Little Scheme this Week
a Paddy Whack©

Stars shining bright above me
I must admit the liberals love me
Bribes added to the bill that we seek
Deem a little Scheme this week

Say Yes We Can and hold tight
We surely can disable the Vast Right
With Nancy on her arm-twisting tour
We can deem the bill for sure!

Sweet Deem, what a wonderful notion
No voting we’ll need
I’m thinking they’re filled with devotion
Rahm, Nan and Reid!

My legacy is nearing
I’ll get my way without any hearing
Obamacare will do what we need
Deem a little scheme indeed!

[Musical interlude]

Sweet Deem, what a wonderful notion
No voting we’ll need
I’m thinking they’re filled with devotion
Rahm, Nan and Reid!

Just deem the bill, I’ll sign it...
I’ll put the force of my name behind it
No Tea Party will undo the deed
Deem a little scheme Indeed!

Friday, March 12, 2010

We're a Couple of Libs

Famous song by Judy Garland and Fred Astaire: We're a Couple of Swells

A Paddy Whack ©
"We're a Couple of Libs"

We're a couple of Libs
We're real good at telling Fibs
But no one sees the knife before we stick it into your ribs
We're a couple of Nuts
We joke about spending Cuts
But bankruptcy will fell you just as well as an uppercut
The Patriots all have sent us lots of Tea
But we don't take deliv'ry no siree
No siree!

We would drive up the Deficit, so we're printing up more Cash
We would add to the Deficit, and predict a Wall Street Crash
We would tax for the Deficit as your credit line we Smash
Then we'll lie 'bout the deficit
Then we'll lie 'bout the deficit
Yes we'll lie while the deficit we amass.

G.M. Motors are we
We push you to Bankruptcy!
Your CEO is fired so you hand all the keys to me!
We're the favorite Tops
We're expert at photo-ops
We'd like to show you Air Force One but you'll have to bring the cops!
The Patriots all are marching in the streets
But we don't care to listen in the least
In the least!

We would yell at Republicans, but they haven't got the ears
We could call on the Democrats, but they've been corrupt for years
We would look for a Patriot, but it's risky to be Joe
So we'll Chalk up the Deficit
Yes we'll Chalk up the Deficit
Yes, we'll Chalk up the Deficit to B.O.!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Keester Parade!

Just in time for the holidays!

A departure from the original Music: Easter Parade

by Irving Berlin, Lyrics: Irving Berlin, Book: Moss Hart,

Premiere: Saturday, September 30, 1933.

Could any political symbol be more apros pos than an A$$ (my family always said "keester") for the Democrat party? Keester is a variant of the word Keister which means satchel or in slang: Buttocks. Either meaning works for me. They are all a bunch of carpet-baggers, including some of the RINOS in the GOP.

Having trouble with the tune?

"Keester Parade"

Never saw pols look quite so ditzy before
Never more impressed! Teleprompters and more!
When they aggravate, or commentate their lotus-eater warnings
Are they out of touch? Think we aren't keeping score!

When they all astonish, and everyone admonish
Their Propaganda-laden words! A Keester Parade!

They'll be all a flutter, and say the Right's a nutter
But all those words they utter are just Keester Tirades!

On the Avenue,
Penn. Avenue
The photographers will snap them
And you'll find B.O. likes to spread his manure

Oh I could write a ditty
About how he's not witty
And add the Congress to the list! The Keester Parade!

[Alternate chorus]
All the bark and show!
Isn't just B.O.!
With a teleprompter handy
The newsmen will swoon as they hype this buffoon

Oh, I don't mind the Wagyu
My beef is how they Gag you
And call it Fairness Doctrine!
It's the Keester Parade!

Monday, March 8, 2010

I Can't Say Whoa!

From the musical Oklahoma: I Cain't Say No (Rodgers & Hammerstein)
Here's wishing our representatives would say WHOA as the current administration and Democrat-led House and Senate are driving us over a cliff. GOP and Blue Dogs, this song is for you.

A Paddy Whack©
I Can't Say Whoa!

It ain't so much a question of not knowin what to do
The Constitution spells it out quite clear!
But now I'm here in Washington, and what you hear is true
About how Reid and Nancy bend your ear
I know Big Government should be reject!
But when I'm near Obama
I forget!

I'm just a fool who cain't say whoa
We're in a terrible fix!
I always say, "Go with B.O."
Just when I oughta say Nix
When a person tries to trick the state
I know we oughta foil that sneak attack!
But just one look at Barry's face
And somehow I forget to watch your back!

I'm jist a fool, I like B.O.
I think the man is a saint
Why give him any constraint?
He is so cool I might Faint!
I cain't say Whoa.

What ya gonna do when a feller plays dirty?
And don't he talk purty?
What ya gonna do?
S'posin that he says that a car czar is hired?
The CEO's fired!
What ya gonna do?

S'posin that he says th' Right's meaner than mean,
That Chicago machine won't die!
What ya gonna do When the Marxists Say
"Mao is our guy!" ?

I hate to be the "party of no"
Labels like that are not right!
Goin' along like dominos,
Has landed me in this plight!

Other politicians bow and scrape
And all those others get the pork and power!
When we had that vote to stimulate
I must admit it warn't our finest hour!

With every teleprompter speech
I'm taken in by B.O.
Wherever he tells me I'll go
Gallop to win, place and show!
I cain't say Whoa!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Warnin' the U.S.A.

Based on Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the U.S.A."

A Mrs. Paddy Whack ©
Warnin' the U.S.A.!

Worn down by old Tinseltown
And next time I look the prez is just a clown
I'm working like a dog just to pay my tax
My check is cut in half! And that is the fact!

Warnin' the U.S.A., I am warnin' the U.S.A.
I am Warnin' the U.S.A., Warnin' the U.S.A.

We got a little homespun plans
So I put a picket in my hand
Feels like I'm in a foreign land
To force their will on m'fellow man

Warnin' the U.S.A. I'm Warnin' the U.S.A.
I'm just Warnin' the U.S.A., Warnin' the U.S.A.

Come on folks it's so clear to see
Impeach the One if it was up to me
The Constitution is on the line
And I won't sell out for some dollar signs!


I have a notion to hang on
Fighting them like an Amazon
Keep the faith, til he's gone


I'm just a woman but what's goin' on
You get the picture it's like Babylon!


Down in the trenches is the Party for Tea
Marchin' on the corners for our Liberty
In four years giving reign to the One
Nothing will be left ain't got nowhere to run

Warnin' the U.S.A. I am Warnin' the U.S.A.
Warnin' the U.S.A. I'm a song writin' Paddy in the U.S.A.
Warnin' the U.S.A. Warnin' the U.S.A.
Warnin' the U.S.A. I'm a fool mockin' Paddy in the U.S.A.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Ghost Writers Spin His Lies

Due to the mysterious nature of the writer behind the Teleprompter, I have decided to re-write my parody to Ghost Riders in the Sky. Enjoy! (Original by Johnny Cash)

A Paddy Whack©
Ghost Writers Spin his Lies

Obama's makes a bee-line for his Teleprompter space
The media takes photos of the Dear Obama's face
Just like a tennis match he swings his head from left to right
A-reading telepromptered words, and sounds like Reverend Wright

We wonder who is writing out the pablum that he spiels
Without his crutch he can't say much he's just a big schlemiel
A bolt of fear runs through us as he hypes the falling sky
Economy is fading fast,
He must save us or we'll die!

Yippie Yi Ohhhh!!!
Yippie Ki Yaaay!!
Ghost Writers Spin His Lies

Reporters swoon, they sing his tune, no proclamation vet
No matter if he breaks his word, his promises forget
'Cause they want to hide their heads, no random questions for that guy
The Teleprompter is their friend
And they help him spin his lies.

As the writers fed his prompter I believe I heard my name
If you want to save yourself you need to generate a brain!
Reporter change your ways today and challenge what he tries
Behind his telepromptered words
You'll recognize the lies!

Yippie Yi Ohhhh!
Yippie Ki Yaaayy!
Ghost Writers Spin His Lies!
Ghost Writers Spin His Lies!
Ghost Writers Spin His Lies!

I Only Have Lies for You

Here's my parody based on the song "I Only Have Eyes for You" by the Flamingos (one of the best shoo-op songs EVAH!)
(Thanks Jack!)
I wish Paul Shanklin would do his Obama voice and sing this one!

I Only Have Lies for You.
A Paddy Whack©

My Gov Don't need a spine, Gov
I can say anything, it's true!

(Shoo bop shoo op! Shoo bop shoo op!)
(Shoo bop shoo op! Shoo bop shoo op!)
(Shoo bop shoo op!)

Are the czars out tonight?
I don't know if they're doughty or bright
I only have lies for you. Dear

(Shoo bop shoo op! Shoo bop shoo op!)

The debt may be high
But I think I'm the King of Brunei
I only have Lies for You.

If GITMO prisoners get a pardon
I'm quite safe at Penn Avenue

(Shoo bop shoo op! Shoo bop shoo op!)
I am here
I'm not shy
Maybe proof of my birth I deny
But they've all disappeared from view!
'Cause I Only Have LIES
For You.

(Shoo bop shoo op! Shoo bop shoo op!)

SIGNS of the Times

There was a controversy in Port St. Lucie, FL between the local Tea Party group and the City Council. This occured on 4 July at (ironically) Freedomfest. We had a presence in the parade, and had a booth set up with free copies of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence. We also provided information about our organization and the opportunity to sign petitions if folks were interested in doing so.

If you are interested, here is a video of the sign and what led to the controversy.

So here is my version of the 1970 hit 'Signs' original music and lyrics by
© 1970, 2002 Five Man Electrical Band Original "Signs"

A Paddy Whack©

And the sign said The City of PSL does Not Endorse
Nor does it Condone nor even Support what we had to say, of course!
So they pounded that sign right into the ground, and it wasn't a random choice
So I guess it's true they don't want to see the Constitution or to hear our voice!

Signs, Signs, everywhere there's signs
Talking 'bout our Liberty; Speaking our Mind
Do this, Don't spend that, Can't you read the signs?

And the sign said We believe in Liberty. And We'll Not be MuteSo they withheld support, denied we were strong, but don't you see it ain't the truth?To make a defense that they 'did not know,' or that it was a 'dumb mistake'
If God and Patriots are to be feared, I think it's time for a station break!

Signs, Signs, Everywhere there's signs
Talking 'bout our Liberty; Speaking our Mind
Do this, Don't spend that! Can't you read the signs?


Now Hey Obama! Can't you read? You've got to have a birth certificate to lead!
You can't even talk, no you can't speak! You ain't supposed to be here!
Sign said you got to be a citizen, Pard, so you're denied! Uh!

And the sign said Liberty or Tyranny: Your choice, Make it Today
But if we don't see how we're not living up to what the Constitution has to say
We've got us this precious paper, and if we follow it we'll all be fine
Thank you Founders for our Liberty, I believe it stands the test of time!

Signs, Signs, Everywhere there's signs
Talking 'bout our Liberty; Speaking our Mind
Do this, Don't spend that! Can't you read the signs?

Monday, March 1, 2010

White House Blight

From the Beatles' song "Hard Day's Night"
Written with help from Jack! Thanks Jack

White House Blight
a Paddy Whack©

He's in the house that's white
He took more time to select a dog
He's in the house that's white
He keeps us living in a fog
And when he gets done with you
You'll see his words are un-true
And he'll still blame the Right

When I yawn
Everything seems to be right
Sleep is gone
Wake to Obama in sight! Blight! Yikes!

He's in the house that's white
His teleprompter is by his side
He's in the house that's white
And soon he'll blame it and say It Lied
But when he gets done with you
You're gonna feel black and blue
And wish we'd turn back right.


Countin' Cowards on the Mall

The Statler Brothers had a hit with this Eric Heatherly song: Countin' Flowers on the Wall

A Paddy Whack©
Countin' Cowards on the Mall

I keep hearing 'bout returns to 'misery index'
Carter years were long ago and we forgot, I guess
All those RINOS in DC say 'don't you worry, none'
Wait until the next election, We'll unseat the One

Countin' Cowards on the Mall
Don't it bother you at all?
Playin' politics til dawn, while they riot in Tehran
Taxing Cigarettes, and Flushing Money down the Loo
Now don't tell me, They care about you.

When we watched those cell-phone pictures coming from Iran
Barry ran the other way, an ice-cream trip to plan
Resolutions in Support of Freedom from Congress!
But Obama only makes Apologies, I guess

Countin' Cowards on the Mall
Don't it bother you at all?
Playing politics til dawn, while they nuke-up in Iran
He smokes cigarettes and adds more Czars up the Wazoo
Now don't tell me, he cares about you!

Well, pay attention to this guy, I think you'll get a fright
Watching all the laws he breaks as if he has the right
Cap and Trade and soon Health Care will join to bring us down
And those newsmen all providing cover for this clown

Countin' Cowards on the Mall
Don't it bother you at all?
Playin' politics til dawn, Telling us he is 'the One'
Ridin' private jets and eatin' beef they call Wagyu
Now don't tell me, he cares about you.
Now don't tell me, he cares about you.

They Call Him Bumbling Barry

From Mel Brook's theme from Blazing Saddles
He Rode a Blazing Saddle

A Paddy Whack©
They Call Him Bumbling Barry

They call him Bumbling Barry,
No more a shining star
Without his teleprompter,
He'll need a language Czar!
He promised Hope and he promised Change
He read every word from the glass!
But now his teleprompter has bit the dust at last.

When BailOuts fail the test,
And fear fills the land
With Cap & Trade, and more Foreign Aid,
Now Health Care is his plan
We don't need a Czar or a state run Car,
Big Brother is not what we need!
But now one and all we'll descend on the mall
We'll March 'cause we're TEA'd,
Yes March! We're all TEA'd

We call him Bumbling Barry,
No more a shining star!
Corrupt Administration has put us where we are.
With BailOuts here, and more BailOuts there
He turned our Might to Foul Play
But no more Bumbling Barry!
It's Independence Day!

Green, Green, Baby

Al Gore, Obama, Money....they're all "Green!"

Roy Orbison's "Dream Baby"

Green, Green, Baby
A Paddy Whack©

Green, Green baby
Green, Green baby
Green, Green Baby
I'm wrong but I'm green.

Green baby, Cap and Trade I'm screamin' the whole day through
Green baby, With my teleprompter. I've no clue!
I'll tax you and remove your freedom, that's what I do
Green baby I'll just spend more green 'uns, Green for me but not for you.

Green (sha-da-da-da) Green (sha-da-da-da) baby (sha-da-da-da)(sha-da-da-da)
Green (sha-da-da-da) Green (sha-da-da-da) baby (sha-da-da-da)(sha-da-da-da)
Green (sha-da-da-da) Green (sha-da-da-da) baby (sha-da-da-da)(sha-da-da-da)
I'm (sha-da-da-da) Wrong (sha-da-da-da) But I'm Green!

Green baby UHC I'm screamin' the whole day through
Green baby GM cars and my Czars, Congress too!
Al Gore Lies! Climategate is busted! Stupid-move!
Green baby! I'll just spend more green 'uns, Soylent Green may soon come true.

Aww, sweet green baby (green baby ah-huh-huh)
Yeah-eh-ah, sweet green baby (green baby ah-huh-huh)
Sweet Green Baby! (green baby ah-huh-huh)
I'm wrong but I'm Green!
Sweet Green baby (green baby ah-huh-huh) (repeats & fades)


Paul Revere and the Raiders: Kicks

A Paddy Whack©

Well, you thought you found the answer when Ted’s Massachusetts seat went ‘Right’
But when we woke up in the mornin’ the Blair House Project’s in sight
Well, there’s nothin’ that B.O. Ain’t tried
To raise Obamacare ‘Denied’
But if he don’t back down there
I bet he’ll pay the price

(Oh don’t it seem like)
Tricks Just keep growin’ larger? We find
That all those tricks ain’t givin’ me peace of mind
Someday you’ll find out it’s too late,
Tricks just infuriate!

No, we don’t like tricks
We don’t want ‘help,’ Gov!

Well he seems to think that we all need what we don’t want:
But it ain’t happened yet, And it won’t!
All Patriots swear
Don’t you see no matter what you try
It’s We the People see the Lie
And if you keep on pushin’
You’d better say a prayer

[repeat chorus]

No, we don’t like tricks
And you’d best heed the words we say
Your road goes nowhere
Freedom and the Truth is what we love
We’re here to stay!

[repeat chorus and fade]