If I Had a Stammer

IF I HAD A HAMMER (The Hammer Song)
words and music by Lee Hays and Pete Seeger

If I Had a Stammer
A Paddy Whack©

[Ever notice how Barry Stammers without his teleprompter? Here’s the latest]:

If I had a Stammer
I’d stammer in the Morning
I’d stammer in the Evening
All over this land
I’d stammer out Health Care
I’d stammer Global Warming
I’d stammer out Hope and Change, my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

If I had a bong
I’d smoke it in the morning
I’d smoke it in the evening
While I hatched my plans
I’d huff and puff for ego
I’d huff and puff for power
I’d huff and puff that I’m the One, the hope and change you’re needin’
All over this land

If I had a Plan
I’d plan it like Alinsky
I’d plan with Cloward-Piven
All over this land
I’d plan to end freedom
I’d plan to tax your earnings
I’d plan to bring a Marxist State to you and all your children
All over this land

Now I’ve got a stammer,
And I’ve got a bong,
And I’ve got a plan to bring
All over this land.
It’s the stammer of Incompetence
It’s the bong of Arrogance
It’s the plan to bring a Marxist State to you and all your children
All over this land

The Ravin'

TheRaven by Edgar Allan Poe

The Ravin’ by Mrs. Paddy

Once upon a Congress clearly, while we marched on weak and weary
Over many a quaint and curious Patriot-begotten shore,
While we chanted, singing, clapping, suddenly there came a tapping
As of someone fiercely rapping, rapping on their chamber door.
‘Tis some Patriot,’ they muttered, ‘tapping at my chamber door-
Only fools, and nothing more.’

Ah, distinctly I remember it was from that bleak November,
And each Democratic Member wrought their will upon the poor.
Painfully I glimpsed the morrow; - vainly we had sought to borrow
From our Land surcease of sorrow – Standing on the Nation’s floor.
From the base and ignorant maiden, who is Nancy, Barry’s whore.
Shameless there for evermore.

And Obama, sought to woo us, sought his way and looked right through us
Pained us – Changed us with fantastic errors never seen before;
So that now, to keep repeating, Patriots began entreating
Speaking loud and oft repeating, beating on the Chamber doors-
Like inquisitors repeating, ‘Read the Constitution, or-
You’ll be gone,’ and nothing more.

Presently our ire grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
‘Sir’ said I, ‘or Madam, truly your attention I implore;’
But the fact is we were napping, and so gently laid your trapping
And so boldly you were scrapping, scrapping all we loved before,
That I scarce believed you’d do it – Shred the Constitution more!
But you have, and nothing more.

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, watching die the dreams our children dream no more.
And the silence was unbroken, and the sleeping stayed un-woken,
And the only words there spoken were behind the chamber doors!
Reid and Nancy and Obama murmured back ‘Free? Nevermore’
Only this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, Patriot soul within me burning,
From a riled and angry nation, soon I heard a loud commotion,
‘Surely,’ said I, ‘Surely hear us, you should know you need to fear us;
Tyranny is not a notion, geared to fill us with devotion-
If you’ll stop and think a moment! Hear our pleas are not emotion-
‘Tis our Right, and nothing more!

Listen now, no need to stutter, We’re not riff-raff from the gutter
We are here a last assembly to preserve our nation’s soul
We don’t owe you our attention; you must fail in your intention
To destroy our hallowed nation, Bankruptcy is your clear goal.
We will fight you, we’ll remove you, think you clear of anger’s toll?
You’ll be gone, and something more!

When our Liberty is reeling, and sick hubris you are feeling
By the graves of founding Fathers’ and the Constitution swore
‘Though our battle is but started, soon from your seat you’ll be parted’
Ghastly law to serfdom send us, but we’ll yield you nothing more.
Tell me how you’ll face your nation, all your souls sold like a whore?
List’ the People: “Nevermore!”

I marveled at the stinking process and discourse you sought to boss us
Listened not unto your people – little relevance we bore;
Made no difference that we phoned! We faxed and marched! Will you atone?
We the People have lost patience with the Congress on the Floor
House and Senate both imperial; both corrupt unto the core
Liberty cries; “Nevermore.”

But the Congress and Obama, press upon us one more drama
As if one-sixth of our nation isn’t big enough to score
Sitting with his fingers steepled, ramming healthcare on the people
Setting up a monster program; geared to gut us to the core
A hundred and ten new bureaus forming, taxing all we have and more
Only Tax: and Nothing more.

But Obama sits there smiling, Democrats their vote beguiling
Another loss of freedom stripping, stripping from the nation’s core
And he spits upon our freedom, thinks no bill of rights we’re needin’
And the Patriots see their future, filled with promise nevermore
See the empty days before us, As we sing in dreadful chorus
USA is Nevermore.

Startled at the stillness broken by the word so aptly spoken,
‘Doubtless,’ says he, ‘what you utter is just hype and nothing more’
‘I will be your lord and master. It is not a great disaster
I just hope to change you faster! Faster than the Bush of yore.’
And with melancholy faces, Change is here. And hope? No more.
Liberty is Nevermore.

Deem a Little Scheme this Week

So, the latest manoever is to 'deem' the bill passed with amendments that nobody has seen (Nan says we have to pass it first; then we can see what's in it!) thereby skipping that pesky routine of actually voting! Of course, a vote would put everyone on the record for this POS legislation that will destroy our liberty and hand 1/6th of our economy to the government. Not to mention, of course, the absolute control they will have over every aspect of your life and health.

This is one of those times I wish I could sound like Obama when I sing. Please imagine his voice with this one.

From Mama Cass' hit "Dream a Little Dream of Me"

Deem a Little Scheme this Week
a Paddy Whack©

Stars shining bright above me
I must admit the liberals love me
Bribes added to the bill that we seek
Deem a little Scheme this week

Say Yes We Can and hold tight
We surely can disable the Vast Right
With Nancy on her arm-twisting tour
We can deem the bill for sure!

Sweet Deem, what a wonderful notion
No voting we’ll need
I’m thinking they’re filled with devotion
Rahm, Nan and Reid!

My legacy is nearing
I’ll get my way without any hearing
Obamacare will do what we need
Deem a little scheme indeed!

[Musical interlude]

Sweet Deem, what a wonderful notion
No voting we’ll need
I’m thinking they’re filled with devotion
Rahm, Nan and Reid!

Just deem the bill, I’ll sign it...
I’ll put the force of my name behind it
No Tea Party will undo the deed
Deem a little scheme Indeed!

WE THE PEOPLE!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVAhr4hZDJE

We're a Couple of Libs

Famous song by Judy Garland and Fred Astaire: We're a Couple of Swells

A Paddy Whack ©

"We're a Couple of Libs"

We're a couple of Libs
We're real good at telling Fibs
But no one sees the knife before we stick it into your ribs
We're a couple of Nuts
We joke about spending Cuts
But bankruptcy will fell you just as well as an uppercut
The Patriots all have sent us lots of Tea
But we don't take deliv'ry no siree
No siree!

We would drive up the Deficit, so we're printing up more Cash
We would add to the Deficit, and predict a Wall Street Crash
We would tax for the Deficit as your credit line we Smash
Then we'll lie 'bout the deficit
Then we'll lie 'bout the deficit
Yes we'll lie while the deficit we amass.

G.M. Motors are we
We push you to Bankruptcy!
Your CEO is fired so you hand all the keys to me!
We're the favorite Tops
We're expert at photo-ops
We'd like to show you Air Force One but you'll have to bring the cops!
The Patriots all are marching in the streets
But we don't care to listen in the least
In the least!

We would yell at Republicans, but they haven't got the ears
We could call on the Democrats, but they've been corrupt for years
We would look for a Patriot, but it's risky to be Joe
So we'll Chalk up the Deficit
Yes we'll Chalk up the Deficit
Yes, we'll Chalk up the Deficit to B.O.!

Keester Parade!

Just in time for the holidays!

A departure from the original Music: Easter Parade

by Irving Berlin, Lyrics: Irving Berlin, Book: Moss Hart,

Premiere: Saturday, September 30, 1933.

Could any political symbol be more apros pos than an A$$ (my family always said "keester") for the Democrat party? Keester is a variant of the word Keister which means satchel or in slang: Buttocks. Either meaning works for me. They are all a bunch of carpet-baggers, including some of the RINOS in the GOP.

Having trouble with the tune?

Cue up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8AvEczTqe4

A Paddy Whack ©

"Keester Parade"

Never saw pols look quite so ditzy before
Never more impressed! Teleprompters and more!
When they aggravate, or commentate their lotus-eater warnings
Are they out of touch? Think we aren't keeping score!
For....

When they all astonish, and everyone admonish
Their Propaganda-laden words! A Keester Parade!

They'll be all a flutter, and say the Right's a nutter
But all those words they utter are just Keester Tirades!

On the Avenue,
Penn. Avenue
The photographers will snap them
And you'll find B.O. likes to spread his manure

Oh I could write a ditty
About how he's not witty
And add the Congress to the list! The Keester Parade!

[Alternate chorus]
All the bark and show!
Isn't just B.O.!
With a teleprompter handy
The newsmen will swoon as they hype this buffoon

Oh, I don't mind the Wagyu
My beef is how they Gag you
And call it Fairness Doctrine!
It's the Keester Parade!

I Can't Say Whoa!

From the musical Oklahoma: I Cain't Say No (Rodgers & Hammerstein)

Here's wishing our representatives would say WHOA as the current administration and Democrat-led House and Senate are driving us over a cliff. GOP and Blue Dogs, this song is for you.

A Paddy Whack©
I Can't Say Whoa!

It ain't so much a question of not knowin what to do
The Constitution spells it out quite clear!
But now I'm here in Washington, and what you hear is true
About how Reid and Nancy bend your ear
I know Big Government should be reject!
But when I'm near Obama
I forget!

I'm just a fool who cain't say whoa

We're in a terrible fix!
I always say, "Go with B.O."
Just when I oughta say Nix
When a person tries to trick the state
I know we oughta foil that sneak attack!
But just one look at Barry's face
And somehow I forget to watch your back!

I'm jist a fool, I like B.O.
I think the man is a saint
Why give him any constraint?
He is so cool I might Faint!
I cain't say Whoa.

What ya gonna do when a feller plays dirty?
And don't he talk purty?
What ya gonna do?
S'posin that he says that a car czar is hired?
The CEO's fired!
What ya gonna do?

S'posin that he says th' Right's meaner than mean,
That Chicago machine won't die!
What ya gonna do When the Marxists Say
"Mao is our guy!" ?

I hate to be the "party of no"
Labels like that are not right!
Goin' along like dominos,
Has landed me in this plight!

Other politicians bow and scrape
And all those others get the pork and power!
When we had that vote to stimulate
I must admit it warn't our finest hour!

With every teleprompter speech
I'm taken in by B.O.
Wherever he tells me I'll go
Gallop to win, place and show!
I cain't say Whoa!